A while back, I did a piece about how I got an awesomely defaced five-dollar bill.  If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you can read about it here.

Anywho, while farting around on the ‘net, I found pics of some other cool, artistically modified buckage.  Check some out below:

 

  

You can see more of this sort of stuff here.

This morning, I came across a lone sandal sitting in the middle of my day job’s parking lot.

I work in New York, and we’re in the middle of a frosty-ass winter.  Which is the perfect climate to wear sandals in.

I was thinking, though, who wouldn’t notice that they’ve stepped out of one of their shoes while walking outside? 

While pondering that, I had a related, even more unsettling thought: What if Angelina Jolie never adopts me?

When I walked out of work tonight, I found the sandal still sitting there.

I started thinking about who might be walking around with one sandal missing.  Working with a renowned police sketch artist (BTW - “renowned police sketch artist” is my way of saying “the Internet”), I came up with a drawing of what such an unadorned individual might look like.

Yes, for those of you who must know, that is a bare foot.  ‘Cause I know you’ve never seen bare feet before.  And I pride myself on being the first person to show you crap.

I was talking with my friend Kyle and the subject of bonobos came up.  I had always thought they were a musical instrument of some sort, but turns out I was just thinking of oboes.  Anyway, he told me that they’re really a type of monkey; I went online to verify that fact (it’s true), which somehow led to the discovery of a band called the Bon Hobos.  I thought that was awesome, and got me to thinking up other cool, hypothetical band names with the word “hobo” in it.  Here’s a short list I came up with:

Guns N’ Hobos

Hobo Frodos

Slo-Mo Hobos

Hobo Mo Fos

Please feel free to comment with any suggestions, and if they’re good, I’ll post ‘em at a later date.

I was at the local grocery store, waiting in the checkout line behind a woman who was buying 16 cans of wet cat food, 1 big fat bag of Purina Cat Chow, a bag of kitty litter, and 6 bags of cat treats.  The total bill: $97.  After she had paid and left, the cashier, looking dazed, said “I guess she has a cat.”  Hey, you think?

 I came across this five dollar bill image on the web not too long ago.

 Abe Lincoln instead of Kurt Russell?  Outstanding.  Although he looks a bit like Capatain Ahab in this pic.

Then, the other day, I was given this back as change at my local grocery store:

 I don’t quite know who this Juan Pedro is – a search on Google turned up, like, a million Juan Pedros, none of whom looked like this – but you have to admire how hip n’ smooth Abe looks here, with his sleek shades, trim goatee, and blood-red hair.   It’s like the perfect hybrid of crotchety old uptight American history and slick laid-back coolness. 

Also: It’s graffiti!  But it’s legal tender!

Awesome.

I recently came across this image of Rosie O’Donnell, and decided to have some fun with it.

 I went on to pikipimp, and started to mess with the photo.    

Hey look, it’s Abraham Rosie O’ Lincoln. 

Holy crap, I think this is Rob Zombie’s long-lost brother.  

…And this must be the world’s scariest nerd.  “You will lend me that library book!  And I will defecate on your desk!”

OMG…it looks like Hagrid had a little too much mead to drink last night…  

Check out some of the weird crap you can do on pikipimp here.

Recently, I was at my desk at work eating an apple and surfing the ‘net, when one of my female colleagues walked up with a new senior manager who just got hired..  She was making introductions and giving the new person the lay of the office.  Wanting to give a good impression (‘cause who knows, this could be my future boss), I stood up, introduced myself and held out my hand.  Both my colleague and the new manager gave me a weird look, and the manager shook my hand, but very reluctantly.  After they had gone, I was thinking “What the hell?”  I pulled out a mirror that I keep in one of my desk drawers to see if there was something wrong with my appearance.

It turns out that there was a nice-sized hunk of bright green apple hanging out of one of my nostrils, looking very much like a big-ass booger.

This is a great interactive site that I stumbled across not too long ago.  On it, you can customize your own wacky faces from the features of 15 different people.

Apparently, monoface has been around for nearly three years without any updates (witness the 2007 copyright date and the “happy new year from all of us” message).  However, don’t be put off by the lack of activity on the site, as it’s highly entertaining (and possibly addictive).

It’s easy to play with.  As per the site instructions (which are uncovered by clicking on “what do I do?”  on the left side of the screen), you “click the mouth, nose, head and each eye to create a different monoface.”  According to the description, there are “759,375 possible faces.”

I came up with a bunch of silly creations, as you can see below.

You can link to it here.